我读书时候曾经在国图借过一本书The Mailroom, Hollywood History From The Bottom Up,内容就是近百年来好莱坞经纪人挣扎救生的口述实录(没错,agent这个行当是有了近百年历史了)。当然之前在Entourage里有大量关于 mailroom的相关段子,好莱坞几乎所有大牌经纪人入行时候都需要经历mailroom这个阶段的磨练,大家应该都还记得Ari如何对付自己以前助理的挑衅──当众抽丫的,骂个狗血喷头,丫还不敢还手和还嘴。
说了半天,agent到底是干啥的呢,其实agent就是代理人嘛,把自己的client介绍出去,从中捞取一笔手续费,一般是10%吧。这区区百分之十,已经让人用最险恶的词语来咒骂这个职业了。当然不仅仅是因为钱。Budd Schulberg当初写过一本What Makes Sammy Run,把这些agent写成为达目的,不惜代价,不顾廉耻,不讲道德的人。书一出版,就拿到NYT畅销书版的头名。MGM的大老板Mayer愤怒的说,该把这个家伙给驱逐出去。他爸爸,Paramount的大老板B.P.Schulberg,就跟Mayer说,这可是好莱坞土生土长的唯一的作家,你还要把他驱逐到哪里呢。
想进mailroom,说来也奇怪,面试的时候,对方往往要千方百计的打击你,给你一种门槛很高的感觉。说来很简单,工作很累很恶心,坚持不下去的人基本上几天就走了,这样还不若上来就制造恐怖气氛,把那些意志薄弱者消除在外。但是就算这样,还是有很多人混进来。没办法,虽然知道工作很无趣,大量娱乐圈里的名人还都把孩子往里送,因为,mailroom就是一个大熔炉,想知道圈子是什么样的,这里是最好的学习场。所以,才有了书名里的Hollywood History From The Bottom Up。这里对他们,是宽进严出的地方,很多人自然将来另有入行之道,但这里残酷现实却是最好的开场。当然,有些筛选也是必要,比如如果你已经有家有室,那一般agency会劝你打住,毕竟以mailroom的收入,自己吃住都成问题,再别说养家糊口了。还有女同志,最早也是要排除在外的,不是种族歧视,干 mailroom少不了抱着成堆的胶片跑来跑去,出门送胶片也是常事,这种体力活,还是男生来干最好。
在mailroom,你需要绝顶聪明。最快的时间解决最难的问题,才能赢得最重要的客户。当初Elvis Presley的manager跟William Morris Agency,万事谈妥,突然横生枝节,提出要一个跑腿的,外加一间办公室。大老板Lastfogel马上说,跑腿的没问题,这办公室,我们这里实在没有配得上你的,要有,也就是我自己的这间,要不这样,你那天来了如果要用屋子,我马上让出来请你用。这种Solve problem on your feet的本事,是需要在mailroom里开练的。Jeremy Zimmer去Fred Milstein那里面试,注意到Fred Milstein凳子不转了,就下楼去从mailroom里卸了一个轴承给Milstein换了。当然了,做好事不留名的人是不会有出头之日的,所以他留了个条子"我修好了你的凳子――Zimmer",于是他升迁了。Ron Mayer在选assistant的时候,会让你去给他倒杯水。驽钝的人会去倒一杯水。聪明人就去开一瓶新的矿泉水,加上冰块,倒上水,把杯子边上残留的水滴擦去,下面垫上几张纸巾,一并端过来。
Adriana Alberghetti放弃了Smith Barney的部门经理工作,去了Endeavor。她被分给Ari Emanuel(雅荻注:就是Entourage里面的Ari的原型,Endeavor就是剧中MGA的原型)做assistant,星期一开始。她前一个周五去见Ari,"We're starting this partnership, we can make it work."Ari的回答是"你他妈的滚出去。"然后Ari跑到他那里说,我跟别人打赌了,你三个月肯定滚蛋,看我今天花多少时间把你给弄哭。那天老板赢了,但是哭了一个周末的Adriana没有再输。后来她又跟了Tom Strickler。Tom是编剧的Agent,成天让Adriana读剧本,然后一大早还没时间准备就向他汇报。基本上是三分钟,把故事和人物说清楚。三分钟一过,Tom就会说,不行,重来,这次两分钟。后来Tom跟她说,你不成啊,连剧本都不能读,还做什么agent。Adriana大怒,说自己天天都读,怎么不能。Tom就说,好,过去的不算,然后他伸长了胳膊在墙上划了道线,说,你现在读吧,全部咱们client的剧本,读一本垒一本,十月份读不到这里,就别想着升职了。五个月过去了。剧本慢慢垒起来,中间有时候Tom还会突然从已经垒起来的剧本里随便抽出一本,让Adriana来马上总结。到九月十五号的时候,还有快三十本。Tom贴了个信封在线上,说里面是奖品。然后很认真的跟Adriana说,我跟其他agent打赌你能不能读完,我是唯一一个赌你赢的人,不要让我失望。嘴上这么说,Tom手下却不软,眼看快到了,他还偷偷的不时从剧本堆里偷走几本,给Adariana一种Sisyphus 推石上山的感觉。结果adariana终于读完了,那天Tom招大家开会,落了泪,Adariana也落了泪。奖品嘛,是跟其他agent一起去纽约电影节的机票,和到自己家度周末。
Tom Strickler自己很清楚为什么要这么做。当agent就是要为client服务,可是娱乐圈里的client实在是千奇百怪,所以他们这些 Agent也常想出最邪门,最不讲道理的要求。作为agent,你有责任为你的assistant制造这些让他们终生难忘的疯狂回忆。他有一次跟一个 assistant说,你的手表太难看了,不要戴了。过了一个月,那个assistant又把手表戴上了。他把那人拉到厕所,当着他的面把表给冲了,跟他说,"我跟你说的事,你就去照做。"然后又给那人买了一块表。
> Entourage 603 - One Car, Two Car, Red Car, Blue Car
Turtle: I just think it's time for me to make something of myself.
Ari: Turtle, do you know what it takes to make something of yourself? I mean, come on. I worked a job through college and grad school. Lloyd!
Lloyd: Yes, Mr. Gold?
Ari: Hit the stack.
Lloyd: In front of people? I'm not performing.
Ari: "The kingdom of Foibles".
Lloyd: "The kingdom of Foibles" written by Karen Brown. A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's court meets "Die Hard." A man awakes in the midst of…
Ari: This man can quote from the entire stack. That is what he's willing to put in for his own success. He's paying his dues. When have you paid yours?
Turtle: I’m willing to pay them now. And I have a great idea.
Ari: So do all these idiots. Can you execute it?
Turtle: I think I can.
Ari: In this life, no one is going to invest because you think you can. Do you have a business plan
Turtle: No. I mean, I haven't sat down and put-
Ari: What do you need? Office space, insurance? How many employees? What do you project to earn? What do you need to break even? At what point can your investors see some profit?
Turtle: I don't know! I don't know.
Ari: Look. When my son was born, my greatest fear was having this conversation. I knew that I would give him anything he wanted because he was my son and I couldn't say no. Which sucks, 'cause it wouldn't help him and he'd just end up on the street doing heroin with the two coreys because I was too much of a pussy to teach him a lesson. I won't make that mistake with you. Just say no.
Turtle: I can pull this off, Ari.
Ari: Come back to me when you can prove it.
E: So if you pretended to care about him and you were me, what would you do?
Ari: What's the difference?
E: I'd like to try to do something.
Ari: What I'm capable of doing and what you're capable of doing are two totally different things.
E: What would you do?
Ari: I would make a scene of biblical proportions. I would lie, scream, beg, borrow and steal. And if that somehow didn't part Amy Miller's legs, then I would call racism. And I would yell for all to hear, "You're really gonna fire my poor black client off the show he created?! I'm calling NAACP, the reverend Al Sharpton and the ghost of my man Malcolm X.
影片最后的一个小细节蛮有趣,E把Sloan的短信删掉,转眼间似乎看到一个熟悉的名字,暂停看居然E手机里有Nancy Juvonen发来的短信。Nancy也是美国一个有鲜明风格的喜剧片制片人,大部分片子大家比较熟悉,我也基本都看过,最新一部担任制片人的影片是He's Just Not That Into You,E演员本人也是片中重要角色之一。所以,这个“戏中戏”也蛮到位的,怀疑很可能是真实的短信,汗~~无意中发现的
He's Just Not That Into You非常不错的爱情小品,顺道推荐下,我三月在香港电影节时候看的,E在里面的表演方式基本没变化。