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我们的故事 The Story of Us(2000)

简介:

    当爱逐渐变得褪色无光,婚姻的瓶颈期就随之而来了。本(布鲁斯·威利斯 Bruce Willis饰)和凯迪(米歇尔·菲佛 Michelle Pfeiffer饰)的婚姻也面临着这个难题。一方面,他们还爱着对方,另一方面却又对每况愈下的婚姻质量失去耐性。孩子们去夏令营了。这一个月里面,他们可以有足够的空间和时间重温旧梦,寻回爱情的美妙感觉。然而,他们的努力一再白费。刻意的挽回婚姻只令彼此都更清楚到了非分开不可的地步了。于是,二人协商,在孩子们回来的那天,要跟他们好好谈论离婚的决定。

演员:



影评:

  1. Katie:That's not why I'm saying Chow Funs. Funs, I'm saying Chow Funs because we're an us. There's a history here, and histories don't happen overnight. In Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy there are cities built on top of other cities, but I don't want another city, I like this city. I know what kind of mood your in when you wake up by which eyebrow is higher, and you know I'm a little quiet in the morning and compensate accordingly, that's a dance you perfect over time. And it's hard, it's much harder than I thought it would be, but there's more good than bad and you don't just give up! And it's not for the sake of the children, but God they're great kids aren't they? And we made them, I mean think about that! It's like there were no people there, and then there were people and they grew, and an an an I won't be able to say to some stranger Josh has your hands or remember how Erin threw up at the Lincoln Memorial And I'll try to relax, let's face it, anybody is going to have traits that get on your nerves, I mean, why shouldn't it be your annoying traits, and I know I'm no day at the beach, but I do have a good sense of direction so I can at least find the beach, which isn't a weakness of yours, it's a strength of mine. And God your a good friend and good friends are hard to find. Charlotte said that in Charlottes Web and I love how you read that to Erin and you take on the voice of Wilber the Pig with such dedication even when your bone tired. That speaks volumes about character! And ultimately, isn't that what it comes down too? What a person is made of? That girl in the pin helmet is still here 'bee boo bee boo' I didn't even know she existed until you and I'm afraid if you leave I may never see her again, even though I said at times you beat her out of me, isn't that the paradox? Haven't we hit the essential paradox? Give and take, push and pull, the yen the yang. The best of times, the worst of times!I think Dickens said it best, 'He could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean', but, doesn't really apply here does it? What I'm trying to say is, I'm saying Chow Funs because, I love you.
  2. 一个持续了15年的婚姻还能再维持下去吗?处在分裂边缘的那对夫妻,应该结束不再幸福的共同生活,还是重塑新的开始?主演Bruce Willis和Michelle Pfeiffer,一对名叫Ben和Katie的15年的夫妻。


    忧郁的周末傍晚,我选了这部电影来看。

    那天在DVD店里选择购买这张碟的时候,是因为简介中吸引人的那个名词——15年的婚姻。细细想来,“15年的婚姻”,在它结束之前,都应该作为一个带着挺不容易的情绪的动词。无论一开始我们如何海誓山盟的相爱,都会经过那个坚难的第15年,或者只是到这个数字2/3的时候,大家已经伤痕累累、劳累不堪。 该怎么办?我希望这部电影可以给我一个答案。


    The relationship: 争吵


    Ben和Katie不停地争吵,似乎生活的目的是无止尽的战争。将对互相的不满化为争吵,在争吵中越发互相憎恨,而关于争吵的起始原因却是完全记不得的无关紧要的琐事。妻子的台词是“当习惯争吵变成唯一的沟通方式,不吵的时候已经无法相处。”结束怒气冲天针锋相对的对白,他们就保持冷到骨头的沉默。

    Ben叫嚣着,“我们那个曾经爱闹爱玩的小女孩去哪了?”

    Katie绝望的答,“是你把她赶走了。”

    冷静下来,站在局外才能看到,当爱人们抱怨对方不再如往日般可爱的时候,往往却是自己扼杀了曾经美好的一切。


    15年的婚姻并不有趣,15年的时间足以什么情绪都已经经历过,于是每一天都变成乏味的重复。即使是在高于生活的电影里,即使是那经过无数艺术处理的短短的95分钟,只是展示冲突的高潮时,也一样会令人闷到睡着。我是说,在看这部电影的时候,一度,我在主人公无休止的争吵中睡着了。也许是我一直不知道该如何面对争吵,对于两个人的分歧,常常是手足无措的保持沉默。

    你选择争吵还是沉默?这是相处中最最恶劣的两种方式,在我们长久的共同生活中却很容易变成习惯。
     
     


    方式:假装美好


    不管怎么说,决定将恋爱变成婚姻,那两个人曾经必定是如此相爱,而一开始的生活也总不至于太糟糕,甚至美好。Ben和Katie在一部喜剧片台词的诞生过程中彼此相爱,以为找到童话中的美丽世界,于是结婚,并育有一双儿女。却在不知不觉中,世界已经改变,他俩在孩子面前扮演着恩爱的父母榜样,在朋友面前显现着其乐融融的和睦家庭,其实在表面的和平下,一切支离破碎。

    和孩子们玩着“What’s high and down ?”(今天最高兴和不高兴的事是什么?)的游戏,“最高兴的是明晚的结婚纪念日”,他们符合着孩子的话,私底下却是这样的对白:“我们可以各自去餐厅吃饭,可是必须一起出门,一起回家。”“没错,要让孩子们看到我们是高兴热烈的。”

    还有,临近尾声的那一幕,打算离婚的父母面色苍白地去接夏令营回来的孩子:

    Ben:“你准备好了吗?”

    Katie:“是的。”

    于是两人极少的露出默契的笑容,充满活力的跳下车,去拥抱他们的孩子。


    背负着巨大压力和痛苦的情绪,去假装美好世界如初,除了不想伤害别人,是不是其实自己并未接受现实,曾经那么美好,那么多相爱的细节回忆,即使已经消失在空气里,可是却还零零散散的流淌在血液里。

    假装美好,逃避着不愿面对的现实,15年,两个人应该还是彼此爱着的。只是假装的,犹如肥皂泡不堪一击,一秒钟之内,就会什么都没有了。
     


    另外一些必须会经历的章节:外遇,做爱,亲吻


    晨跑的时候,Katie告诉好友,她要离开Ben,

    “你是不是有外遇了?喜欢上了别人?”

    “他是一个沙包,是你选来抵御伤害的沙包,你只是找他来降低你的难过程度。”

    在遇到感情挫折的时候,最容易的度过方式就是有另一个人的出现。在万念俱灰的时候,你突然看到身边那个从没想过的人,或者偶遇才认识三分钟的人原来更关心你,更愿意给你安慰,你也尝试去给自己一个机会相处,恩,也不坏。只是作为一个悲观主义,我想到的是,当这个人和我相处到15年的1/3时,会不会有更糟的情况出现?旁观者总是更清楚,他的出现只是让你暂时降低悲伤的程度。怎么可以忘记,正是这个你憎恨的爱人,才是曾经不带任何理由的相爱的人,你们在一起已经15年了。

    但是这另一个人的出现总是最具有杀伤力的情节,和另外一个人做爱、亲吻、牵手,甚至什么都不曾发生,“Just talking!”——只是谈论你不幸福的婚姻,都将对岌岌可危的关系作出毁灭性的打击。为什么你不再愿意和你爱的人谈论,你放弃了解决问题的唯一途径——这个才是毫无根基的所谓外遇总是打败苦心经营的婚姻的原因。


    总是这样,慢慢地,他们不再做爱,很少亲吻,当妻子穿着性感睡衣的时候,丈夫连拥抱的冲动也没有,当丈夫想做爱的时候,妻子却生硬的拒绝。电影中所有的婚姻治疗师都认为性生活是维持正常婚姻的必要过程,或者说做爱才是婚姻的正常反应,Make Love,爱不制造,真的会慢慢没有。

    那么亲吻呢?吻的表达是“我喜欢你”,热吻的意义是“此刻,我多么的爱你!”当亲吻退化亲亲一点的形式时,不再是相爱的表达,而是可有可无的礼节。

    总是这样,当他们没有意识到的时候,不再被对方感动已经很久很久了。
     


    问题是:要不要分开?


    “我们彼此还是相爱,只是爱的方式变了。”这是他俩试图要向孩子们解释为什么要分开,而对的台词。

    彼此相爱,只是爱的方式变了——他们不再愿意去听对方的解释和心情,他们总是在找理由逃避承担后果,他们想着或许可以试试和别的人在一起会更快乐——“我们还相爱,所以打算分开! ” 多么可笑,多么冠冕堂皇,令自己感动的谎言。

    可是当两个人从美好平静的早晨醒来,却决定分开抽屉里混放的内衣裤,把幸福的合影从相架下拿来……彼此离开,那么没有任何理由,就是他们最终不再相爱。

    影片的结尾, Michelle Pfeiffer演的那段非常的棒。当他们与夏令营回来的儿女们拥抱,在掩饰悲痛假装快乐之后,计划是去吃饭的时候向孩子们摊牌分开的事实。这个时候,Katie说:“我想去中国餐馆吃饭。”接下来是一段冗长的歇斯底里的台词,去描述15年的意义,15年的婚姻生活还能维持下来的精神力量,最终的结果便是——比起放弃的分离,不如尝试继续一起。


    在网上看到香港版的翻译是《我们还在一起》,这一点上倒是呼应了封面上的广告语:“The most wonderful and romantic movie of the year”。在互相毁灭之后,有多少人可以“还在一起”。 在动人的音乐中, Ben和Katie拥抱收尾。我很高兴,他们决定相互再次努力,因为他们彼此相爱。这正是我要的答案。尽管我知道这终究只是可以轻松改变结局的电影。
  3.  Katie:That's not why I'm saying Chow Funs. Funs, I'm saying Chow Funs because we're an us.
    There's a history here, and histories don't happen overnight. In Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy there are cities built on top of other cities, but I don't want another city, I like this city.
    I know what kind of mood your in when you wake up by which eyebrow is higher, and you know I'm a little quiet in the morning and compensate accordingly, that's a dance you perfect over time. And it's hard, it's much harder than I thought it would be, but there's more good than bad and you don't just give up!
    And it's not for the sake of the children, but God they're great kids aren't they? And we made them, I mean think about that! It's like there were no people there, and then there were people and they grew, and an an an I won't be able to say to some stranger Josh has your hands or remember how Erin threw up at the Lincoln Memorial And I'll try to relax, let's face it, anybody is going to have traits that get on your nerves, I mean, why shouldn't it be your annoying traits, and I know I'm no day at the beach, but I do have a good sense of direction so I can at least find the beach, which isn't a weakness of yours, it's a strength of mine.
    And God your a good friend and good friends are hard to find. Charlotte said that in Charlottes Web and I love how you read that to Erin and you take on the voice of Wilber the Pig with such dedication even when your bone tired. That speaks volumes about character! And ultimately, isn't that what it comes down too? What a person is made of? That girl in the pin helmet is still here 'bee boo bee boo' I didn't even know she existed until you and I'm afraid if you leave I may never see her again, even though I said at times you beat her out of me, isn't that the paradox? Haven't we hit the essential paradox? Give and take, push and pull, the yen the yang.
    The best of times, the worst of times!I think Dickens said it best, 'He could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean', but, doesn't really apply here does it?

     What I'm trying to say is, I'm saying Chow Funs because, I love you.
  4.        在Eric Clapton的反复吟唱中,Bruce对着镜头说,我觉得最浪漫的爱情故事就是,两人偶遇,坠入爱河,然后五六十年后,其中一个撒手人寰,没过几天另一个也告别人世,因为无法忍受失去对方独活。其实这也是我认为最浪漫的爱情故事。两个相爱的人,执子之手与子偕老。只是,中间那五六十年的光阴,那琐碎的磨人的生活的真相,不可能像小说或童话一笔点过,它要我们分分秒秒实实在在去感受。那其中有love也有hate,有欢乐也难免争吵,而我们都需扮演好自己的角色,全情投入。
        
        故事很简单。曾经相知相爱的两人,度过15年的婚姻生活,育有一双儿女,在孩子面前维持温馨和睦的假象,实际上却倍感疲惫倦怠。当节节升级的争吵由偶尔爆发变成家常便饭,当两人独处时只剩沉默,直视前方无聊的电视节目,目光从不相交,当两人之间除了对孩子的爱已找不出任何共同点,对于这段看来无路可走的婚姻,两人都已力不从心,于是分居,甚而协议离婚。即使PPS抽风得单词几乎是一个个蹦出来,从两人商定离婚起,我几乎一路哭到尾。我怕,同样的情形会发生在你我之间。

        虽然不在同一张床上,两人都在想着对方,回忆过去的甜蜜时光;当她说It's over,他看不到关门后她崩溃的泪水;他和她,思及婚姻现况,抱着孩子先后痛哭出声。当他敞开心扉说出自己的high就是与她在一起的此刻,而low就是与她分别的every minutes of the past two weeks,她不禁动容,只是两个人的和谐几分钟后就演变成六个人的争吵。当他在饭店里大吵大闹情绪失控,在店外想起过往种种潸然泪下,鼓起勇气让朋友Take me to Katie's,对她坦承"My high is about you. Tonight I saw myself through your eyes, and I am sorry!"给彼此最后一个机会,却看到屋中另外一个男人,满腔热情立马被浇熄,转身绝然离去,却看不到她眼中挥之不去的浓浓失望。他租的新居冰箱里备齐她喜欢的所有种类饮料。他戴上手表,因为她希望他准时。明明还余情未了,却谁都不敢跨出主动的一步,或许,两人都在努力,却总是时机不对。假如,我是说假如,我们之间真的到了这一步,请你一定主动说,This is ridiculous, we love each other, all couples go through this, let's give it another try.

           夫妻俩始终都是有差异的,先不论男女性别本质导致的思维差异,家庭背景、生长环境、教育方式都会导致价值观的差异和性格上的不协调。片中的Ben是个作家,生性自由散漫,就像拿着画笔的Harold,随意不羁,casual & spontaneous,而Katie却非常有计划性,生活井井有条,凡事依照日程,punctual & ordered。与我们何其相似,只是我是女版的Ben,而你是男版的Katie。可是,两个人既然在一起,就要求同存异。虽然有差异,谁缺了谁也不行。就像Ben的车总需要Katie为他加清洁液,需要Katie为他导航。

        当那个明显配角的牙科医生出现,你问我,你不会在我们出现问题时走近另一个人吧?我拒绝回答这么ridiculous的question。你说我知道这是一个插曲,女主角是个好妻子,但人都有脆弱和崩溃的时候。其实在漫长的围城岁月中,在磨人的生活中,我们都难免偶尔wonder, Is this who I really am or is this who I am with this person? Maybe there's another version of my life, of myself, a happier one. 但我知道,this version of me only exsits until I met you. After all, everybody gonna have traits and get on your nerves, why shouldn't it be your annoying traits?

           最后一段催人泪下的表白,我看到豆瓣上有quotes,但我等你听译,我希望你用心去听,这样你才会记得。
        Life isn't clear-cut, life is gray. The whole notion of staying together and living happily ever after, all illusions. The hard time that bring us together, nobody said it was gonna be easy. It's harder, it's much harder than I thought it would be. But there is more good than bad and you don't just give up, because we are an "US". There's a history here, histories don't happen over night, 你了解我的喜怒哀乐,我对你的脾性了如指掌,That's a dance we perfect over time.

    Remember, I'm nothing without you. Let's live MOSTLY happily ever after. I hope so, I do…