幕后危机 第二季 The Thick of It Season 2(2005)
简介：
- 从搭足腔调的《大臣》\《首相》到出口必带F的《幕后危机》，从撒切尔的保守党政府到布莱尔的工党政府，唐宁街还是那个唐宁街，BBC还是那个BBC，这次的倒霉蛋换成了社会事务部。大臣休·艾伯特和他的班底，有无穷无尽的屁股要擦，有没完没了的骂要挨，每一天都在诚惶诚恐鸡飞狗跳颠倒黑白、还有来自马尔科姆女王铺天盖地的脏话中度过……最令人发指的是，这一切都在一种冷静冼练的手提拍摄式的新闻摄影风格中呈现，现场感十足，要的就是让你相信，政府就是这样尽皆癫狂。这部BBC于2005年拍摄的政治喜剧，囊括了当年包括BAFTA的各项喜剧大奖，据说已经被美国看上要翻拍。
演员：
影评：
- 衷告: 下文基本为剧透. 没看剧之前请不要看.
出处: 第二季经典台词复制粘贴 (Wikiquote).
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Series 2, Episode 1
Hugh: How long since you've had sex?
Glenn: That is between me and my internet service provider.
Hugh: That was quite funny.
Glenn: I didn't think it was funny.
Hugh: I'm an elected representative of the people. It was funny.
Hugh Abbot: Robyn, all events are regional. Everything that happens in the world has to happen somewhere. Do you see? Even JFK's assassination was a regional event. But it was also very important. Like this factory visit.
Jamie: Have you seen the Whip's numbers?
Malcolm: NOMFuP.
Jamie: What?
Malcolm: NOMFuP. N-O-M-F-P. Not My Fucking Problem. I quite like that. Did you like that? I'll use that quite a lot today.
Malcolm Tucker:Y'know what's worrying me? Is this dodgy?
Jamie: I dunno, the kid's firm was the second lowest bid. He says they never talked, what does it matter?
Malcolm: Well, you know me, I'm a man of principle. I like to know whether I'm lying to save the skin of a tosser or a moron.
Jamie: Probably a moron.
Malcolm Tucker: Your're worse than dead meat. I don't know what you're laughing at. You're too toxic to even feed to the vultures.
Malcolm Tucker: How much fucking shit is there on the menu and what fucking flavour is it?
Malcolm: There is a difference between allowing someone's natural tittishness to come through, and just exploiting it through camera work here! You're sticking one tit moment on top of another tit moment. That wouldn't happen in real life.
Malcolm: Stats, percentages, international comparisons, information. E-mail them fucking wads of information. And tell them to get their heads around it before they put pen to paper, or I'll be up their arses like a fucking Biafran ferret, right? Come on, unleash hell!
Hugh: I know this is what they think people like me think, so I hate thinking it, but I just find myself thinking that they're from a different fucking species. You know, with their t-shirts and weird trousers and tabards. Why do they wear clothing with writing on it? And why are they so fat?
Jamie: Well, go, for fuck's sake, you big fucking prick! I'll cut your fucking ears off! We need it done.
Olly: When I met you this morning, I thought you were the nice Scot.
Malcolm: [On the phone to Olly] Have you sorted it, Olly?
Olly: It's not quite sorted just yet, Malcolm. It's difficult...
Malcolm: Shall I send Jamie over? Would you like that? You and Jamie and a rubber truncheon, locked in that fucking newsroom together.
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Series 2, Episode 2
Malcolm: Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off.
Hugh: Well I'll come the fuck in then.
Hugh: Just thought you'd want to know as soon as possible. Terri's father... there's no news.
Malcolm: Oh, so you've come to talk about the reshuffle?
Malcolm: Don't take it personally.
Hugh: You're telling me she doesn't like me as a person. How else am I supposed to take it?
[Discussing Julius Nicholson]
Hugh: Can't we just kill him, shoot him?
Olly: What about we just fire him at a wall from a cannon. Just a wall two feet away.
Glenn: I know, we force feed him with a mixture of garlic and Dettol in Cup-a-Soup.
Hugh: What about the old red-hot poker up the arse? Edward II?
[Julius walks in]
Olly: I'd like to nail him to a tree through the head and watch lice slowly crawl over his body, eating off the flesh in a slow and painful death. But that rather bitter anomaly aside, most of the responses to the Warwick report press cuttings were pretty positive.
Hugh: [telling a joke at his party] And Julius, Julius Nicholson, says, ”I'm sorry but I think you'll find you're sitting in my seat.”
[No one laughs]
Hugh: And this was to God, as I mentioned in the setup. Anyway, have a lovely time.
Hugh Abbot: You saw me in there. I was swinging like a colostomy bag.
Hugh: Since when, Glenn, does the Secretary of State for Social Affairs have to find out from the fucking press that every morning at 8:30 I'm being fisted up to the gallbladder by a bald man?
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Series 2, Episode 3
Olly Reeder: Who wants to go and watch bollockvision? Mr Malcolm Tucker, turning it all the way up to eleven, down in the lobby.
[The Department of Social Affairs has been renamed The Department of Social Affairs and Citizenship]
Glen Cullen: So, Hugh, this new word 'Citizenship', did the PM tell you what it meant?
Hugh Abbot: Honestly, I think he was making up the reshuffle as he went along. I think we're lucky that 'citizenship' was the first thing that came to mind. Otherwise we could have been The Department for Social Affairs and Woodland Folk.
[Olly has made a joke about special needs kids]
Hugh: You just took a shit with your clothes on, Olly.
Olly: Why?
Hugh: Glenn's boy, Peter, he went to a special needs school.
Olly: Oh.
Hugh: Yep.
Olly: Glenn's had sex?
Olly: I had a girlfriend with Special Needs once, actually. [Smiles smuttily] Fortunately, I was able to fulfil them.
Hugh: You're such a prick, Ollie.
Hugh: Christ, Malcolm, how do you appear out of nowhere in a building made entirely out of glass?
Malcolm: I'm a shapeshifter.
Hugh Abbot: It's going to be like sitting on a tea crate, having chicken shit sprayed all over me.
Miscellaneous Civil Servant: Can you stop swearing, please?
Malcolm: Oh, I'm terribly sorry, you won't hear anymore swearing from us you MASSIVE, GAY, SHITE! FUCK OFF!
Hugh: I categorically did not knowingly not tell the truth. Even though unknowingly I might not have done.
Hugh: I don't know what else can go wrong now. Unless the flexible energy system sets fire to my office and the puts it out by squirting liquefied human shit through the ceiling sprinklers.
Malcolm: Hey, I'm going to have a swear box installed on Monday.
Hugh: What?
Malcolm: Fucking joking, you twat! I'm on turbo.